Tuesday, March 19, 2013

2 months

wow...2 whole months.  matt and i were talking about it sunday night.  it feels like daxon has been with us for much longer than 2 months.  I am now having a hard time remembering what our life was like before him, and who i was before i was his mother.  it feels like this is who I was supposed to be - not just a mother but daxon's mother.  he is the child i was always meant to have.  things happened in my life to ensure that he would be a part of it.  by being his mother, i am fulfilling a destiny.
it's been a really cool month, watching him grow and develop.  this month he really started responding to us and communicating with us.  as we all get to know each other better, it's fun to see his little personality come through.

he is still sleeping fantastically at night.  we hit a bit of a regression at 8 weeks, but even then he was still sleeping through the night, per the experts (5 solid hours is considered sleeping through the night).  he typically goes down around 9-9:30 and sleeps till about 5.  the past 2 nights he's slept till 6:30!  during the 8-week wonder week (the 2nd leap), he was back to waking up around 3:30, and getting him to bed was a nearly 2-hour process.  but it only lasted a few days, so i really can't complain.

from baby connect - this shows his longest sleep duration for each day.  you can clearly see when he was in the wonder week, and when he started coming out of it.  awesome!
napping, on the other hand, doesn't go so well.  i am having a hard time getting him to nap anywhere other than on me.  if I transfer him to the crib, he will wake up within minutes.  he will fall asleep in the car, but the car had to remain in motion - if we stop for too long, he's awake...and none to pleased to be in his car seat.  he really is not a fan of that thing.  i continue to try to get him to nap in the crib because he needs to be able to do that for daycare - the workers are probably not going to hold him for his naps!

he continues to be a champion eater.  in fact, i may go as far as calling him a marathon eater.  his nursing sessions often last upwards of 40 minutes, which is way too long, if you ask me.  he also takes a bottle every evening from matt, and so far has shown no signs of nipple confusion - he switches back and forth seamlessly.  we use tommee tippee bottles, which i had chosen because i thought they resembled a boob and would lessen the likelihood fir confusion.  clearly, i am a genius (ha ha ha).  other than him being a lazy eater, i have no complaints in the eating area.

this has been the biggest stressor for us, obviously.  in my initial post about reflux,I said that we were starting him on zantac, and that we were aghast going to try to switch bottles.  I'm not sure if it was one of those things or a combination of the two, but he definitely seems better.  he is less fussy in the evenings after his bottle, which is awesome.  matt actually gets to play with him, rather than just desperately try to comfort him.  i look forward to speaking with the pediatrician today to see what her thoughts are.  he hates the zantac, and i can understand why - it tastes like rumpleminz (my best friend would love it).  he makes the worst face in the world when i give it to him.  

fun stuff
he is responding to us so much, now.  he thinks mommy is the biggest goofball on the planet (probably true). every morning when he wakes up for the day, i put the raffi station on pandora on my phone and we sing and dance and play along with the music.  he smiles his big adorable toothless gummy smile, and i ham it up even more because there is nothing i love more than making him smile.
he will follow us with his eyes.  when daddy gets home and says hi as he walks in the room, he will turn his head to see where the noise came from.  on his 2-month birthday, he suddenly noticed his hands.  he's been chewing on them for a few weeks, but on sunday he suddenly seemed to realize that he has some control over them!  he and daddy like to work out together.  matt lays him on his back on his lap (with his head on the arm of the couch) and does sit ups (pulling him up by his arms - great for head/neck strength), lat pull-downs (matt holds his hand and pulls against daxon pulling back), and shoulder presses (daxon punches matt's hand, and matt pushes back against it).  it's pretty funny to watch, and seems ridiculous, but daxon seems to love it, so - hey - whatever works!

padfoot is pretty funny!

Sunday, March 17, 2013


daxon is two months old today!  update coming soon, but for now here's an adorable picture to tide you over.  happy st. patrick's day!

Friday, March 15, 2013


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reflux...i think

the week started off great. the weather was beautiful on monday, so daxon and i took a walk.  i had a package to mail to my sister (all of his newborn clothing, minus one kimono shirt for me to cry over someday), so i put him in the bugaboo stroller that i got from a friend and off we went.  after the post office we stopped in to rite-aid for mommy to get more hemorrhoid cream (note to the pregnant moms, get cream not ointment.  trust me).  it was lovely.

then we got home.  daxon was in a fine mood when we got home, and mommy had to pee, so i put him in the rock and play and went upstairs.  while i was in the bathroom he started to cry, but it wasn't his usual, "hey you left me alone, wtf am i supposed to do now" cry.  this was a cry.  i quickly finished my business, and went back downstairs.  as i approached, i noticed his shirt was wet like he'd spit up a little.  i've been suspecting he had silent reflux for a few days at this point (more on that in a minute), so while the spit up made me feel bad for him, i wasn't too concerned.  but then i noticed the pink spots on his shirt, and panic ensued.  my baby had just spit up blood.  my initial reaction was to check his mouth and see if he had any sores or had maybe bit his tongue (which is, of course, completely illogical - he couldn't gum his tongue to bleeding!).  obviously, i found nothing of the sort.  so, after i put him on the boob to call him down, i called the pediatrician.

ok, let me back up now.  like i said, i've been suspecting that daxon has silent reflux for a few days.  why?   the biggest clue for us was the gagging/choking he does after he eats.  it could be up to an hour after he eats, and all of sudden he'll just start choking.  it lasts only a second or two and then he's fine, and it doesn't seem to really bother him too much, but it's scary as hell.  occasionally, he'll be sleeping, then all of a sudden start whimpering and/or crying - almost like he's having a nightmare - but i suspect he's actually refluxing in his sleep and it hurts.  occasionally he'll push off me or pull away from the bottle, and when we sit him up to burp, he screams.  i thought he was just mad cuz we took the food away, but now i suspect he's mad cuz burping makes the reflux bad.  he especially hates being burped over the shoulder, probably because that puts pressure on his little belly.  and he hiccups all.the.time.  at least 3 times a day.  he rarely spits up, though, which is why i've been suspecting that it's silent reflux.

i mean...if that's not the saddest face in the world...
when the pediatrician called me back, i went over all of these symptoms with her.  she agreed that it sounded like reflux, and didn't feel it was necessary to bring him in for an appointment urgently, since we are seeing her next week for his 2-month well visit (oh, god, the shots....i'm already dreading it).  but she called in a script for zantac.  i immediately took to the hellobee boards and dr. google, as well as consulted my friends on facebook.  from what i read, zantac - if it works for your baby - works quickly to relieve the painful symptoms of reflux, but won't actually stop the spitting up.  fine.  he hardly spits up as it is, i just want it to stop hurting him! but i was also warned that for dinner babies, the zantac didn't work, and they required a visit to a pediatric gi specialist. does the word specialist make any other mama's skin crawl?

despite all of the evidence to suggest he has reflux, i'm still not totally convinced. and i'm the one who diagnosed him in the first place. but it seems like it's the worst in the evening. during the day he generally seems comfortable and content. he is always super fussy in the evenings, though. matt gives him a bottle around 6, and once he finishes that, it's fuss city.  i wouldn't call him inconsolable, but everything we try only works for a few minutes before he's fussing again. i have two theories on this. my first is that he gets too gassy from the bottle, which aggravates the reflux (have you ever burped when you have heartburn?  ouch.). so today we went out and picked up 2 new bottles - an anti-colic tommee tippee (we've been using regular tommee tippee bottles and he takes them well) and a dr. brown. i read reviews online and found that the tommee tippee, while designed with a valve to let air through the milk, is not a true anti-colic bottle. the only true anti-colic bottles are mam and dr. brown. i really didn't want to get the dr. brown, but babies r us doesn't sell mam bottles, so i didn't have a choice.  tonight we'll try the tommee tippee and see if that helps, then move on to the dr. brown if not. my other theory is that we're keeping him up too late. i generally start his bedtime routine around 8, about 2 hours after he gets the bottle, and he's typically down by 9. i'm wondering if maybe we should treat the bottle like his bedtime meal, and put him down after he finishes that. i'm hesitant to do this, though, because then matt will hardly get any time with him. and matt is hesitant because he's been sleeping so well so far - why mess with it? i plan to see how it goes with the zantac and the new bottles. if his fussiness doesn't improve, then i will discuss changing his bedtime with the ped on tuesday.

it is torturous watching him cry in pain and not be able to do anything. i hope one of these things, or a combination of any of them, help him and maybe him feel better!

Friday, March 8, 2013


have you ever watched inside the actor's studio?  it's on bravo.  it's a show where celebrities come to the actor's studio in new york to do an interview with host james lipton in front of a roomful of acting students.  i love it because they discuss their full body of work and the backgrounds of the characters, their own experience with getting into acting...and usually they're pretty laid-back and seem more "real" than in other interviews.  james lipton is a genial host, and the students always have a chance to ask their own questions at the end.  it seems like a great learning experience for them. 

lipton asks each one of his guests a series of 10 questions.  he came up with them after seeing french talk show host bernard pivot ask questions of his guests based on a questionnaire once completed by the french writer marcel proust.  proust's questionnaire is significantly longer and more detailed, so lipton obviously had to scale it back.

since i'm home on maternity leave, i've had a chance to catch quite a few episodes of inside the actor's studio and have been thinking about what my answers would be if i were ever on the show (ha!).

what is your favorite word?  heart.  it carries so much meaning and can be used in so many ways.  i love that it has become a verb (or do i heart it?).  it is a heavy word with a great deal of feeling in it.

what is your least favorite word?  retard/retarded.  i find it physically repulsive.

what turns you on?  laughter.

what turns you off?  intolerance.

what sound or noise do you love?  i love when i pick daxon up as he's waking up and he burrows into my neck and sighs.  he's not a big belly-to-belly snuggler, so i eat that up when i can.  the little contented sigh he gives almost drops me to my knees.

what sound or noise do you hate?  people using hateful words, like retard or gay (derogatorily, obviously).  i have a physical reaction to cruelty.

what is your favorite curse word?  fuck.

what profession other than your own would you like to attempt?  chef.

what profession would you not like to do?
  surgeon.  there is way too much pressure.

if heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?  ya done good.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

this weekend - daxon's weekend

daxon met a ton of new people this weekend and was very busy with lots of travels and visits.  wednesday night, daxon slept from 10-3:20, then again from 3:45-7:15.  at 7:15, i got him up and dressed, and finished packing the car.  we hit the road at 7:50.  daxon was awake when we left, but fell asleep about 15 minutes into the trip once we got past the traffic on the turnpike.  he slept almost the entire trip (about an hour), but woke up right before the hershey exit (about 15 minutes from my parents').  as soon as he woke up he wasn't happy, so i was "swerving" the car to get him to calm down.  it kind of worked, but he still was fussy, so i plugged my phone in and turned on the white noise app.  it worked for a bit, but by the time we got to my parents' house he'd had enough.  as soon as i got him out of the car, though, he calmed back down.  i nursed him and then handed him over to jeff (who goes by fritz to the grandkids) so that my mom and i could head to the spa.  i called to check in on them before i left the spa for my haircut, and fritz said they were doing great.  daxon is his 8th grandkid, so i knew he was in good hands.  jeff and my mom went out to the theater thursday night, so daxon and i stayed in.  he fell asleep on me downstairs, so i carefully carried him up to my sister's old room, where i'd set up his pack and play, and he sletp that night from 8p-5a, then again from 5:45-7:30.

on friday, he and i took a little trip over to a local bakery where my friend mel works.  we picked up some breakfast and some dessert for our dinner at aunt callie and uncle anthony's, then headed back home to get organized for getting things ready for the shower.  he took one nap from 9-10, but then was up for most of the rest of the day.  my friend nicole came to visit with her son anthony, and he kind of napped for a little while they were there.

this picture melts my heart.

after they left, i kicked it into high gear with cooking and baking for the shower.  he was kind of fussy, so i plopped him in my sling - he stayed calm and i was able to keep getting stuff done.  i worked until my mom and jeff got home, and then jeff took him for a bit so my mom and i could keep working.

matt got home around 6:30, gave him a bottle, and then the 3 of us headed up to aunt callie and uncle anthony's for dinner.

daxon didn't nap there at all, and then started getting really fussy.  i tried to nurse him but i think he was just way too overstimulated, so we finally packed him up and headed home around 10:30.  he fell asleep in the car, but then kind of woke up when we got home and took him out of his car seat.  i knew he wasn't hungry, and didn't want to just comfort nurse him, so i rocked him for a bit in the rocking chair in callie's room.  he still seemed pretty awake, so i thought i'd swaddle him to try to get him to calm down.  i swaddled him in the pack and play and he closed his eyes.  i left him and watched him there for a couple minutes, and he didn't stir, so i just walked out and shut the door.  he slept till 7am (11:30p-7a).

on saturday, we got up in the morning and gave him a bath in the kitchen sink (matt was supposed to bring the tub but forgot it).

around 11 matt took daxon over to his parents' for a visit while we finished getting ready for the shower and hosted.  daxon got to visit with his pop and nunu, and uncle dan came over, too.  matt's aunt tana and uncle jim came to meet him, too.  he apparently napped most of the time, though.

they came back to my parents' house around 5 after the shower ended.  he got to meet his aunt melissa, aunt heather, aunt ashley, and uncle john, as well as all of his cousins.  so fun!

they took off after a bit, and he spent some quality time snuggling with aunt callie before we all decided to move the party to callie and anthony's.  matt convinced me to let daxon stay with my parents, so we put him to bed around 7:30 and headed over.  i had a bottle pumped already in case he woke up, but he stayed asleep the entire time we were gone.  he woke up right when we got home around midnight, so i gave him the bottle (since i'd had a couple glasses of wine), then i pump-and-dumped (if i hadn't been engorged, i would have just waited till his next feeding).  he woke up again at 5, and by then i was safe to nurse him, so he nursed and went back to sleep from 5:30-7:30.

on sunday, matt got up with him at 7:30 so i could sleep a bit longer.  i woke up right before 9, and daxon was napping with gigi.

around, 10:15, after matt and i got both cars packed up, we all went to church.  he was quite hungry by the time we got to church, but i had a bottle with me, so i gave him that and he slept through the entire service once he finished eating.  after church, we went to visit grampa (my dad).

he zonked out while we were there, so we loaded him up into the car and hit the road.  he slept the entire way home. sunday night he slept 9:15-6:15!  but then last night he was up once at 4, slept 4:30-5:30, then again 6-7.  hopefully he falls back into his routine again, though we are approaching a big growth spurt, so we may have some rough nights ahead of us.

so we learned that daxon seems to be a pretty easy traveler, which is awesome.  out next hurdle will be having someone other than me put him to bed.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

this weekend - mommy's weekend

we had a nice long weekend in hershey this past weekend.  daxon and i went home thursday morning and matt joined us friday night.  we all came home on sunday.  we had a lot going on, with lots of visits and events happening.  it was a busy weekend for everyone, so i thought i'd break this into 2 posts - the events in one, and daxon's visits and how he handled it in another.  so here's my perspective of our weekend.

we hit the road around 7:50 thursday morning.  my goal had been to leave by 8, with a time of 8:30 as our absolute last acceptable time to leave.  when we were pulling out of the driveway at 7:50 i was thrilled!  we got to my parents' house around 9:30.  i had time to set up his pack and play in my sister's old room and quickly nurse him before mom and i left to go to meet my sister at the spa.

we do a day at the spa at the hotel hershey every year, just the 3 of us.  we usually have one treatment plus lunch.  this year, we all got massages.  initially i had a hard time relaxing (it was my first time leaving daxon for more than 20-30 minutes), but i just kept reminding myself that he was with fritz (my stepdad goes by fritz rather than pop, grampa, etc) and he was fine.  eventually i gave in to the massage and it felt wonderful.  afterwards, we relaxed in the "quiet" room with muffins and hot cocoa for about an hour before our lunch.  i quickly pumped, too.  lunch was good, and dessert was even better (i mean, it's hershey...).  after we finished lunch, we changed back into our clothes.  i had a haircut scheduled for 3:15.  yes, i still get my haircut in hershey.  i have tried 4 different salons in philly but can't find one that i love as much as steele.  it is absolutely because of the staff (i graduated with one of the owners, my stylist is one of my close friends from high school, and another stylist is like a pseudo-little-sister to me), so i always love going back and catching up with everyone.  i had rachel chop 2 inches off my hair because it had grown out of control (thanks, hormones!).  afterwards, i rushed home to snuggle my baby.  it was nice to be away and have some me time, but i did miss him!  that night my mom and jeff went out to see a play, and daxon and i stayed home and hung out.

on friday, mom and i spent the day getting stuff ready for callie's shower.  my friend nicole came over with her son, anthony, and they brought me lunch (yay for cheeseburger subs from jo-jos!!).  we visited for a couple hours before they left and i kept working on shower stuff.  matt got home around 6:30 and the 3 of us went over to my sister's house for dinner and to see their new house.

saturday mom and jeff and i were busy busy getting everything finished for the shower.  we still had a lot of cooking to do, and had to finish the decorating.  we got it all done by the skin of our teeth, but it was done and it looked great (if i do say so myself)!  we had a lovely shower.  callie got lots of great stuff, and it was fun to catch up with family and some of her friends, who i haven't seen in over 2 years.

bubble bath baby shower punch

popcorn bar - honey peanut butter, chili lime, ranch, and cinnamon sugar

diaper cake by callie's mother-in-law

i didn't take a picutre with all the food out, but we had brie and apple cresent bites, mini fruit pizzas, balsamic pork tenderloin, and guacamole bruschetta

diaper centerpiece

callie's college roommates

anthony's family

we had people bring books to help build baby's library

our stepsisters, melissa and ashley

beautiful mama-to-be!

after the shower, callie's friends stuck around for a little birthday party, as callie not only is having a baby, but she also turns 30 this year!  it's a big year for my baby sister - new house, move to hershey (from baltimore), new baby, turning 30, and she plans to go back to school in the fall to pursue her masters in disease epidemiology (yeah, she clearly got the brains in the family).  i am so proud of her and so excited for this next new chapter in her life!  i can't wait for our babies to grow up and be best friends!  after a bit at my parents', the party moved over to callie and anthony's so that her friends could see the new house.  matt convinced me to leave daxon with my parents and we joined everyone there for a few hours.  i had some wine, which meant i had to pump and dump when we got home (that was a bitter pill to swallow).

sunday morning, we went to church.  matt and i keep talking about trying to find a church near us, but we still plan to have daxon baptized at my church at home, so i wanted to bring him there to meet pastor cindy.  after church we went to visit my dad for a few hours, and finally around 3, we hit the road and came home. 

it was a long weekend, and we were busy, but we had so much fun.  in our next installment, i'll tell you all about daxon's visits and how he did with sleeping and stuff.  for the most part, he handled the whole weekend really well! 

Monday, March 4, 2013


it is 5:40am and daxon still looks like this on the monitor.  go, baby, go!

eta: baby boy slept till 6:15.  that's 9 hours for him.  8 solid hours for mama.  i feel like a new woman.