on saturday, my sister and anthony and quinn came for a visit. it was quinn's first time traveling, and the little guy did pretty well! saturday night after the kidlets were in bed, the 4 of us sat out back on the patio and had some drinks and talked about parenthood and all that comes with it. we swapped delivery stories (my labor and subsequent vaginal delivery and callie's scheduled c-section, since quinn was breech). and then the boys started talking about the first time they saw their sons. and, you guys, it was the sweetest thing. i'll keep their words to myself, because it was private emotional things that were said in the sanctity of our back porch, but i nearly cried listening to matt talk about those first few moments. i could cry now just thinking about it.
watching matt be a daddy - playing with daxon, trying to make him laugh, feeding him a bottle, giving him a bath - is my greatest joy in life. on saturday night, when we were in bed, i told him as much. i told him how much i love watching him be a daddy. i told him how proud i am of him. i told him how my heart swells at the way daxon looks at him.
we said things that night that we simply hadn't gotten around to saying to each other yet.
in vino veritas...
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Monday, June 24, 2013
Thursday, December 27, 2012
end of pregnancy
to my dear baby boy,
you are 38 weeks old today. i can't believe we've come this far and are so close to meeting you. i sat in your nursery last night and looked around at all the pictures and stuff we have for you. it is all set up and just waiting for you to come home. i am so proud of all the work your daddy did and how hard we both worked to make it a special place for you. i just know that you're going to love it. i sat on the glider and thought about having you in my arms in that room, and i just wept. i cannot wait to meet you.
gosh, i can't believe how much you've grown - from a little sesame seed to a watermelon! and i know you will just continue to grow and grow. and we will want to freeze time, i'm sure. because it will all go so fast, just like this time did for us. in some ways it feels like just yesterday that the word "positive" showed up on that tiny screen. in other ways, it feels like ages ago. either way, it's been 34 weeks since we found out and i can't believe it.
i was going through your clothing last night and just can't wrap my head around the fact that you are going to be so little when we bring you home. those tiny little shirts and pants and hats! they're smaller than the clothing i used to dress my dolls in!
up until the past week or so, i have been perfectly content keeping you on the inside, safe and warm and snuggly. but it's eviction time, little dude. mama's belly is full. her hips and her back hurt. and she can't do anything without requiring major effort - you would laugh if you saw her trying to roll over in bed! mama keeps telling you to wait until january, but you don't have to listen to her - this is one time in your life you're allowed to disobey me, so you should take advantage while you can! anytime you're ready, we're ready for you. we'll be here, with open arms, open hearts, sappy smiles, lots of tears, and most likely some annoying camera flashes. daddy will play guitar for you, mama will sing to you, and padfoot...well, she'll probably just sit and stare at you.
hurry up, little one...i'm not sure my heart can take much more waiting!
love,
mama
you are 38 weeks old today. i can't believe we've come this far and are so close to meeting you. i sat in your nursery last night and looked around at all the pictures and stuff we have for you. it is all set up and just waiting for you to come home. i am so proud of all the work your daddy did and how hard we both worked to make it a special place for you. i just know that you're going to love it. i sat on the glider and thought about having you in my arms in that room, and i just wept. i cannot wait to meet you.
gosh, i can't believe how much you've grown - from a little sesame seed to a watermelon! and i know you will just continue to grow and grow. and we will want to freeze time, i'm sure. because it will all go so fast, just like this time did for us. in some ways it feels like just yesterday that the word "positive" showed up on that tiny screen. in other ways, it feels like ages ago. either way, it's been 34 weeks since we found out and i can't believe it.
i was going through your clothing last night and just can't wrap my head around the fact that you are going to be so little when we bring you home. those tiny little shirts and pants and hats! they're smaller than the clothing i used to dress my dolls in!
up until the past week or so, i have been perfectly content keeping you on the inside, safe and warm and snuggly. but it's eviction time, little dude. mama's belly is full. her hips and her back hurt. and she can't do anything without requiring major effort - you would laugh if you saw her trying to roll over in bed! mama keeps telling you to wait until january, but you don't have to listen to her - this is one time in your life you're allowed to disobey me, so you should take advantage while you can! anytime you're ready, we're ready for you. we'll be here, with open arms, open hearts, sappy smiles, lots of tears, and most likely some annoying camera flashes. daddy will play guitar for you, mama will sing to you, and padfoot...well, she'll probably just sit and stare at you.
hurry up, little one...i'm not sure my heart can take much more waiting!
love,
mama
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
my boy
it's 4:27am. i've been awake for an hour and 27 minutes. i woke up at 3am for my nightly pee, and was wide awake from that point forward (don't get me started on my nightly panics about waking up in the 3 o'clock hour, thanks to the exorcism of emily rose). after tossing and turning for an hour, i finally gave up and got up. i'm sitting downstairs now, sportscenter on tv for noise, cheating on my registries, and thinking about our son.
our son.
dear baby boy,
i'm sorry that i don't talk to you as much as i probably should, but i hope that you "hear" the running conversation that i have with you in my head. pregnancy has been such an incredible journey for me, and i cannot wait to meet you, the little man who has taken up residence and claimed his space in my belly and in my heart. already you fill such a huge space in my heart, and i haven't even laid eyes on you yet. i cannot even comprehend the level of love that i feel for you.
i constantly wonder who you'll be. will you be funny, like your dad? will you be stubborn, like your mom? what is it that will make you just distinctly you? i lay in bed, feeling you move, and think about the little personality you're already forming. i think about what you look like, and can't wait to finally see you - study your face, count your tiny toes, kiss your little fingers, nuzzle your fuzzy head. it's hard to believe that we are only 7 weeks away from meeting you, and yet it feels like it's eons away.
you aren't even here yet but you are so lucky already. you have so many family members who are excited to meet you. not just me, your daddy, and your fursister, padfoot. but gigi and fritz, and grandpa, and aunt callie, uncle anthony, and your baby cousin. i cannot wait to have cousin playdates with aunt callie and uncle anthony. i am so excited that you will have a cousin to grow up with. you have other cousins, too - gabe and avery. they are much older than you but i know you will love them and look up to them. so many others - pop and nunu, uncle mike, uncle dan... plus all your extended family members. and our friends, who are the family we've chosen. you will grow up surrounded by love, i can assure you.
i just can't wait to share our lives with you. to dance in the living room. read books in your nursery. bake cookies in the kitchen. create memories and start traditions and have our family quirks. take you on vacations and show you the world. watch you play with your cousins and chase padfoot around the house (she'll be terrified).
oh, my little boy, i just cannot wait to meet you and see what a special little person you'll be. i promise to let you be the person you're meant to be, to celebrate everything you are, and to help you become whatever you want to be.
love you,
mama
our son.
dear baby boy,
i'm sorry that i don't talk to you as much as i probably should, but i hope that you "hear" the running conversation that i have with you in my head. pregnancy has been such an incredible journey for me, and i cannot wait to meet you, the little man who has taken up residence and claimed his space in my belly and in my heart. already you fill such a huge space in my heart, and i haven't even laid eyes on you yet. i cannot even comprehend the level of love that i feel for you.
i constantly wonder who you'll be. will you be funny, like your dad? will you be stubborn, like your mom? what is it that will make you just distinctly you? i lay in bed, feeling you move, and think about the little personality you're already forming. i think about what you look like, and can't wait to finally see you - study your face, count your tiny toes, kiss your little fingers, nuzzle your fuzzy head. it's hard to believe that we are only 7 weeks away from meeting you, and yet it feels like it's eons away.
you aren't even here yet but you are so lucky already. you have so many family members who are excited to meet you. not just me, your daddy, and your fursister, padfoot. but gigi and fritz, and grandpa, and aunt callie, uncle anthony, and your baby cousin. i cannot wait to have cousin playdates with aunt callie and uncle anthony. i am so excited that you will have a cousin to grow up with. you have other cousins, too - gabe and avery. they are much older than you but i know you will love them and look up to them. so many others - pop and nunu, uncle mike, uncle dan... plus all your extended family members. and our friends, who are the family we've chosen. you will grow up surrounded by love, i can assure you.
i just can't wait to share our lives with you. to dance in the living room. read books in your nursery. bake cookies in the kitchen. create memories and start traditions and have our family quirks. take you on vacations and show you the world. watch you play with your cousins and chase padfoot around the house (she'll be terrified).
oh, my little boy, i just cannot wait to meet you and see what a special little person you'll be. i promise to let you be the person you're meant to be, to celebrate everything you are, and to help you become whatever you want to be.
love you,
mama
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
2 years
2 years ago today, i was lucky enough to marry an amazing man.
in just over 2 months from today, i will have the privilege of watching him become an amazing father.
happy anniversary to my best friend, who makes me laugh a thousand times a day. this year will be our most challenging, most exciting year yet, and i cannot wait to face it and live it with you. i love you, monkey. always and forever.
in just over 2 months from today, i will have the privilege of watching him become an amazing father.
happy anniversary to my best friend, who makes me laugh a thousand times a day. this year will be our most challenging, most exciting year yet, and i cannot wait to face it and live it with you. i love you, monkey. always and forever.
Monday, August 6, 2012
remembering and celebrating
this weekend matt and i went back to hershey to attend a memorial service for a friend of mine who died back in february. just a few days after his 32nd birthday, andy died from brain cancer, which he'd been fighting for more than 2 years. he had been living in albuquerque, nm, so in february they held a very small funeral service for his family, but they wanted to be able to give his local hershey friends and family a chance to remember him. so this saturday, about 60 people gathered to remember him and to celebrate the incredible person he was.
i met andy my senior year of high school. to be honest, i'm not even sure how we met. i just know that immediately, he because one of my favorite people. he was easy to be around. he was funny in that way that kind of sneaks up on you - he's not trying to be outright funny, but his mind was just twisted enough that the things that come out of his mouth just crack you up. andy was the guy who was friends with everyone. it didn't matter who you were, what "group" you hung out with, or how "cool" you were. pretty much as long as he could talk to you, he loved you, fiercely and loyally. and he was always him. he never apologized for who he was, or took himself to seriously, or changed anything. he was andy. that was it. what you saw was what you got, and - like one of his friends said on saturday - either you were on the sheets train or you weren't. he wasn't slowing down for anyone. but man, if you went along for the ride, it was a special place to be.
what i remember most about andy, and what i will carry with me forever, was his love of music. the kid lived for it - any kind, any band, any venue - he breathed it. he was an extremely talented guitarist, and i could sit for hours listening to him and our friend keith play. it was andy who taught me to love music. he taught me to really sit with a song and hear it. he taught me to pick it apart and hear the guitar, hear the beat, hear the piano. don't just listen to the melody, but hear the words. he taught me to appreciate a musician's talent. going to live shows with andy was exciting because he'd get so into the music. he would lose himself. in watching him, i learned to do that. at concerts, you will most likely find me sitting/standing there, eyes closed, just swaying and moving to the music. i attribute that to andy.
saturday was our chance to get together and remember all of that. there were probably 30 "students" at the memorial, and i'd say 20 of us went to the troeg's brewery afterwards. i spent most of the day with keith, with whom most of my memories of andy are tied. but we did spend some time with the big group, and it was so great to hear people exchanging stories about him. even if it was a story i wasn't familiar with or hadn't been a part of, even if i hadn't known who they were talking about, i could have guessed it was andy. because andy was just.so.andy. and that's what everyone loved about him.
he will be missed by many. but it is clear that he will live on in all of us.
i met andy my senior year of high school. to be honest, i'm not even sure how we met. i just know that immediately, he because one of my favorite people. he was easy to be around. he was funny in that way that kind of sneaks up on you - he's not trying to be outright funny, but his mind was just twisted enough that the things that come out of his mouth just crack you up. andy was the guy who was friends with everyone. it didn't matter who you were, what "group" you hung out with, or how "cool" you were. pretty much as long as he could talk to you, he loved you, fiercely and loyally. and he was always him. he never apologized for who he was, or took himself to seriously, or changed anything. he was andy. that was it. what you saw was what you got, and - like one of his friends said on saturday - either you were on the sheets train or you weren't. he wasn't slowing down for anyone. but man, if you went along for the ride, it was a special place to be.
what i remember most about andy, and what i will carry with me forever, was his love of music. the kid lived for it - any kind, any band, any venue - he breathed it. he was an extremely talented guitarist, and i could sit for hours listening to him and our friend keith play. it was andy who taught me to love music. he taught me to really sit with a song and hear it. he taught me to pick it apart and hear the guitar, hear the beat, hear the piano. don't just listen to the melody, but hear the words. he taught me to appreciate a musician's talent. going to live shows with andy was exciting because he'd get so into the music. he would lose himself. in watching him, i learned to do that. at concerts, you will most likely find me sitting/standing there, eyes closed, just swaying and moving to the music. i attribute that to andy.
saturday was our chance to get together and remember all of that. there were probably 30 "students" at the memorial, and i'd say 20 of us went to the troeg's brewery afterwards. i spent most of the day with keith, with whom most of my memories of andy are tied. but we did spend some time with the big group, and it was so great to hear people exchanging stories about him. even if it was a story i wasn't familiar with or hadn't been a part of, even if i hadn't known who they were talking about, i could have guessed it was andy. because andy was just.so.andy. and that's what everyone loved about him.
he will be missed by many. but it is clear that he will live on in all of us.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
birthday
today is matt's birthday. every day i thank my lucky stars that he's in my life. he really, truly is the best thing that ever happened to me.
we considered using this song for our first dance, but ultimately decided that a) it was too fast and b) "chasing cars" really is the only song for us. so we used this when we cut the cake. perfect.
so happy birthday, monkey. I love you.
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