tips for my sister

i've been putting together a list of tips for my sister, who is due on may 7th with her first baby (another boy in the family!).  i thought, since i have a few preggos reading, that i'd put them in a blog post.  maybe they'll help, maybe they won't.  but here they are...

- earth mama angel baby nipple butter.  way better than lansinoh lanolin.

- get at least 2 additional top sheets for the zip sheets.  i had registered, based on advice of my dear friend abriel, for quickzip sheets for the crib.  callie thought they were a good idea, so she also registered for them.  i have one sheet set (with the zipper base and top sheet), plus one additional top sheet.  one more top sheet would be nice to have.

- video monitor.  not only because it's nice to put an eye on daxon when he starts to fuss, but also because it's entertaining to watch him "twitch" in his sleep while he's swaddled.  it's like watching a burrito dance.

- skip the sleep sheep.  based on a ton of "must have" lists that i looked i, i foolishly registered for the sleep sheep.  daxon hated it.  the sheep only runs for 45 minutes then shuts off.  matt and i need white noise in our bedroom all night - if we lose power in the middle of the night, i will wake up because the fan will stop running.  i should have known that our offspring would also need constant white noise.  i ended up going out and purchasing a white noise machine (we got the graco sweet slumber machine - it plays white noise and lullabies, plus you can plug your mp3 player into it, and it runs on ac power or battery power).

- have a lamp and/or nightlight next to where you'll nurse (like, in arm's length).  i do not have anything next to the glider, and so sometimes in the middle of the night when i'm having a hard time getting daxon back to sleep, i have to get up, walk over to the lamp, and turn it off, which just stimulates him even more.  it would be really nice to just reach over and switch it off, or at least dim it.  i am looking into a way to make this happen in his room.

- get at least one easy swaddler, like the swaddleme blanket.  i use the aden + anais swaddle blankets, which means i have to manually wrap him myself.  that's fine for me, but i worry the grandparents may struggle, so we have one halo sleepsack swaddle, so we can use it with or without his arms pinned down.

- get lots of burp cloths and stash them everywhere.  i like the gerber cloth diapers, as recommended by several people.

- both of you (ie, both parents) should download the baby connect app on your phones.  this helps you track everything - nursing, pumping, bottles, sleeping, diapers, doctor's appointments... it syncs between however many people have access to your account, and you can even send each other messages.

- get some ky jelly for the rectal thermometer.  i told this story already.
 
- don't be surprised if you find yourself crying harder than you've cried in years.  and totally out of nowhere.  daxon pops off his latch during feeding?  cue hysterics.  postpartum hormones are no joke.

- don't bother freezing pads for postpartum.  see if you can get some of the ice packs from the hospital.  callie froze maxipads for me (we'd both read it on some blogs) but it was a major fail.  they just fold back up in the freezer.  plus, what happens when they melt?  sounds messy.  the hospital gives you these ice packs that you crack and put in the mesh panties.  they were awesome, and i'm so mad i didn't get any to bring home.  stock up on pads, tucks pads, and hydrocortisone cream.  and a rubber donut to take the pressure off your seat!

- watch and learn the 5 s's.  we didn't think to employ these techniques until one desperate evening when daxon was incredibly fussy.  but i swaddled him (1), put him on his side on my legs (2), jimmied my legs about to "shake" him (3), and stuck his paci in his mouth (4) - we use the 5th s (shushing) occasionally, too.  within 30 seconds he was silent, and within 5 minutes he was sound asleep.

- don't throw away boxes for stuff!  as we unpacked stuff from my shower, we broke down and threw out (or recycled) the packaging.  i now have a sleep sheep and a twilight turtle that are getting no use, but i can't return them because i threw out the packaging.  dumb.  hopefully i can consign them somewhere.

the stuff the books don't tell you

a few things they don't mention in the books (at least, not that i ever read):

-discharge.  yes, they mention that you will have increased discharge throughout pregnancy, but i don't recall reading just how heavy it gets, especially towards the end.  for 5 days before my induction, i kept thinking my water broke.  i even called the ob and ended up in triage on saturday because I swore my water broke.  nope.  just lots of clear or whitish discharge.

-swelling (pregnancy).  again, i know they tell you that your hands will swell, but i definitely never read that they would feel arthritic.  i've had to have matt open things for me because my hands hurt so badly.  and no amount of water seems to help.  of all my friends who've had babies, only one had experienced this.

-swelling (postpartum).  you would think (at least I did) that having the baby and getting rid of all that fluid would help with the swelling.  be not fooled, friends.  my feet blew.up. after delivery.  it was downright comical; they looked cartoonish.

-sweating.  and to think, i thought i was sweating when i was pregnant.  ha!  i am sweating buckets overnight now.  i didn't know it was possible for a person to sweat so much from non-activity.

-cluster feeding.  admittedly, i didn't read a book specifically about breastfeeding, so maybe this is covered in one of those.  but i read a lot online, and found that i only heard about cluster feeding from my girlfriends.  and that has to be because cluster feeding sucks so badly, that no book will mention it lest they scare you off breastfeeding for life.  do yourself a favor and read about now.

-urinary issues.  all the books will tell you that you'll experience some urinary leakage.  psh.  because i was so swollen, i had, like, no feeling down there.  ok, that's a lie.  i had pain.  but i could not feel when i needed to pee, and therefore i ended up basically peeing myself a few times.  luckily, postpartum, you're wearing pads as thick as a mattress, so you never make a real mess, but it's a very unsettling feeling to know that, as a 33-year-old woman, you've just pissed yourself.

-worry.  we've all heard it a thousand times - as a mother, you never stop worrying.  they aren't kidding.  i think of myself as a pretty laid-back person, but even i find that i am constantly worried - is he getting enough to eat?  am i producing enough milk?  is he choking?  is my let-down too much for him?  is he warm enough?  is he happy?  am i responding to his cues right?  you get the gist. 

mama's recovery

dudes, having a baby is amazing.  you never know how strong you really are until you push a baby out of yourself.  but damn, it is rough on your body. 

if you recall, i labored for 27 hours, then pushed for 3 hours.  apparently at some point during the pushing, the nurse told matt that i was going to feel like i'd run a marathon the next day.  she wasn't kidding.  my abs hurt.  my forearms hurt (i used the grab bars on the bed to help me push).  my back hurt.  i was exhausted. take the painkillers they offer you before you experience the pain.  i turned down the tylenol/motrin/percocet (you have a choice) immediately after delivery because i wasn't feeling any pain.  big mistake.  take it right away.  and if you're feeling too much pain to sleep or function, take the percocet.  i only took one dose, but it helped me get enough sleep that i could be present for daxon. 

the abs and forearms got better by the second or third day.  but man, things "down there" stay sore for a long time.  i am 2 weeks post-partum today and just started feeling normal a couple days ago.  things were swollen and numb but painful, if that makes any sense.  a tip: get yourself one of those rubber donuts to sit on.  it's the one thing the hospital doesn't give you, but it made a huge difference for me.  also, my mom spoke to the pharmacist when i sent her out for some supplies, and the pharmacist suggested hydrocortisone with cooling sensation - it felt awesome.  stock up on tucks pads, and put some in the freezer.  the hospital gave me a sitz bath, but i hated it - it actually hurt me and i could only tolerate it for 30 seconds before needing to get off of it.

for breastfeeding, daxon has been a champ and i haven't really experienced any major nipple soreness or anything.  but every now and then i still need to put something on them, especially after a pumping session (i need to get bigger flanges for my pump).  i find that earth mama angel baby's nipple butter is way better than lansinoh lanolin - it's not as sticky and goes on much more easily.