on my heart

on my heart today is the fact that i am a grade a idiot/asshole.  i've been taking a prenatal vitamin since about august, in preparation for our ttc journey.  i found one at gnc that i really like called gnc ultra mega green prenatal.  multivitamins in the past have always made me super nauseated (from the iron, is what i'm told).  but this prenatal has a special kind of iron that is gentler and doesn't make me sick.  i've been taking it [almost] every morning for the past 8 months.  i also like it because on top of all the necessary vitamins and minerals, it also has a fruit and vegetable blend to give me a boost in my intake of those things.  it's only 350mg, but i'll take what i can get.

today, i started looking into other supplements i can take to help increase my fertility.  af hasn't showed up yet, but this morning i had some spotting, so i'm thinking that this is not our cycle.  i went back to reference a post on hellobee by a ttc blogger about some supplements that she takes, and as i was re-reading it, i realized that she said she takes her prenatal vitamin 4 times a day.  "4 times a day?  that seems like overkill."  i went back to check out the label on my vitamin and saw this:

cue tears.

i'm so fucking mad at myself.  disappointed.  disgusted.  what kind of a parent will i be if i can't even read the label on my own prenatal vitamin bottle?

so, as of today, i'll be taking the three recommended vitamins per day.  i'm also going to try to find some vitex to add to my daily meds.  last week, i also decided that after my birthday weekend, i was going to quit drinking, pregnant or not.  i'm eating better and exercising (i started the couch to 5k program this week, more on that to come).  time to buckle down and get really serious.