toxo update

i saw the high-risk ob on monday.  they did an ultrasound, and so far everything looks ok, but the doctor was careful to remind me that it's still early. 

i had a long talk with the ob, and he told me that my initial blood work was positive for the igm toxoplasmosis marker, which is the one that indicates a newer infection and raises a red flag.  so they took additional blood work that they will send out to the specialty lab out in palo alto, ca.  this is the only lab in the country that analyzes blood work for toxo.  the ob told me that if the test comes back positive, they will continue to monitor with ultrasounds.  they will also treat me with antibiotics to try to help prevent transmission to the baby.

while meeting with the ob, he also told me that due to a leep i had back in 2001 to remove precancerous lesions from my cervix, i am at risk for incompetent cervix.  incompetent cervix basically means that my cervix may be weakened from the surgery, and may begin to dilate without me knowing it.  a regular pelvic exam may not catch it because the top of the cervix may begin to dilate even though the bottom appears normal.  so i will have to get transvaginal ultrasounds every other week from now through 26 weeks to monitor my cervix.  if after 26 weeks it is ok, they will back off on the ultrasounds. 

after i finished with the ob, he sent me up to the maternal-fetal medicine office to do the paperwork for the lab work.  the nurse told me that they will overnight the blood work to the lab in palo alto, and that i should have the results in about a week.  i was thrilled with a week - being that this is the only lab in the country that does this sort of thing, i was expecting 3-4 weeks.  i had to pay out of pocket for the lab work, because the lab doesn't work with insurances.  so i put $658 on my credit card and will submit the receipts to my insurance for reimbursement.  definitely not something i was expecting, but i'm willing to do it for the baby.

after we finished the paperwork, it was back down to the lab to get my blood drawn.  finally, after about 2 hours (total, not just in the lab), i was able to go home.  as soon as i left the lab, i was choking back tears, and once in the car, i was a mess.  i mean, really, it was mostly good news.  and i am glad that they are going to continue monitoring me and staying on top of any potential issues.  but it was a lot, especially with the unexpected incompetent cervix thrown in, and after 2+ hours, i was just tired and overwhelmed.  so i just broke down.  i got myself back together to call matt and then called my mom.  i held it together for most of that phone call, until telling her about the picture the ultrasound tech took (coming up).  i couldn't even finish the sentence until i started sobbing.  it was brutal.

i am scared and nervous but trying to stay positive.  during the ultrasound, the tech took a picture that was just the baby's hand.  it was fully-opened, so you could see all 5 fingers.  the tech typed "hi mom" underneath the picture.  every time i look at it, i try to remind myself that it was the baby telling us "hey guys!  i'm ok in here!  don't worry about me!"