awkward...again

remember my "train friend" and how i told you things were starting to get really weird and uncomfortable between us?  well i have successfully avoided him since then, and i thought things had gotten better.  i mean, there were definitely some weird moments, but for the most part it seemed like i had kind of made my point and we were no longer "friends."  i had started getting on the train after him so that i could just sit before i reached him, and that was working for me.  i would hover in the back of the station so that we didn't interact on the platform.  there were a few occasions where (i thought) it was pretty obvious that i was avoiding and/or ignoring him.  i really thought that he'd kind of gotten the hint.

but then yesterday, i got on the train before he did, and after i sat down and had my stuff spread out all over the seat, he came by and said "can i sit?"  i didn't feel like i could say no, so i just moved my stuff.  he asked how i was doing, and i just replied "fine," then put in my earbuds and proceeded to read the paper.  i ignored him the entire train ride, and when we got to my stop, i just gathered my things and stood up without asking him to move or saying excuse me.

so then i was just mad.  like, i thought we had an understanding.  things were weird enough as it is (i really hate feeling like i'm in middle school again and trying to "freeze out" someone, like cruel middle-school-girls do).  but then you have to come back and try to sit with me again?  it almost felt purposeful.  i mean, i've clearly been avoiding you.  if you have to come and ask if you can sit with me, then clearly you're trying to force something that shouldn't be happening.  and that just makes us both feel awkward.  just let it go.  i felt really weird yesterday.

i have also noticed that since i started avoiding him, he's been parking near me.  here's what i mean.  at our train station, there is a lot right at the station, but it's small and it costs $1 in quarters every day.  but our station is right next to the genaurdi's and they let us park for free, as long as we stay in the far back corner and there are plenty of spaces for their customers (even if the store was totally full, there would still be room for us - the lot is huge).  so i have always parked at genaurdi's.  he has always parked in the lot.  but suddenly in the last few weeks, he's parking at genaurdi's.  which makes me really uncomfortable.  i basically now feel like he's a creepy stalker.  and now matt's starting to get worried, especially since he's now parking down at the genaurdi's lot.  he's worried he's going to start following me home or something.  i think he usually takes an earlier train home and i don't see him in the afternoon, so i'm not quite so worried about that.

i'm really not sure what to do at this point, short of sitting in an entirely different part of the train.  but i don't want to do that because i'm friends with my conductor (like, real friends, i've been at his house, he was at my wedding) and i like to sit and chat with him in the mornings.  but i may have to do that, at least for a bit, just to get my point across.  i'm just perplexed as to why he didn't get it already.  it's crazy!