i recently found out that a coworker of mine is pregnant. this is her 5th baby to a 4th baby-daddy. she is desperately trying to keep this pregnancy a secret and doesn't want anyone to know about it. she apparently told another coworker that she doesn't believe in birth control. um, clearly.
it hurts me to say this, but i'm so mad about it. here is a woman who just keeps getting pregnant by accident. she doesn't actually raise any of these kids - her parents do most of the chlid-rearing (she herself has told me this, i'm not being catty and speculating). she so easily gets pregnant and takes that completely for granted.
and yet, here we are, 7 months into ttc and we're not pregnant. my fellow ttc'ers on hellobee are struggling. thousands of women are struggling. and here she's popping out kids left and right.
i know it sounds mean. it sounds bitter and jealous and catty. and it is. i don't want to feel this way, but i do. i'm angry that it's taking us so long to conceive while others do it by accident. i'm frustrated that my body is failing me. i'm bitter that a woman who doesn't even seem to want to be pregnant is.
but mostly, i'm sad. my heart is so heavy with this news. i don't want to be a bitter, angry person. but there it is.
i just want it to be our turn.