Friday, June 8, 2012

a move

tuesday morning my sister called to check in on how our doctor's appointment went.  once i finished telling her all about it, she casually mentioned that she and my brother-in-law had put in an offer on a house in hershey.  *record scratch*  say what?!  callie and anthony have lived in baltimore for the past 6 years.  they've talked over the years about moving - their ideas have ranged from colorado to southern virginia to hershey to san diego to new mexico.  i really started taking all the talk with a grain of salt.  callie is one of these people who has a lot of ideas but takes centuries to actually move on them.  so when she told me they put in an offer, i was floored.  out of all the places they'd talked about moving, i thought they were least serious about hershey.

matt and i have talked on and off about moving back to hershey.  he feels much more strongly about it than i do.  he grew up around his entire family, and i honestly think he misses that a lot more than he'll admit to me.  his whole family is back in hershey - his parents, his brothers, and all of his aunts, uncles, and cousins.  and they are rooted in hershey.  in the 5 years we've lived in our house, most of them have never been here.  "it's too far" they say.  it's an hour and a half.  seriously.  it drives me crazy and it hurts matt's feelings. i, on the other hand, grew up seeing my cousins once or twice a year.  they lived in michigan and wisconsin.  so i'm used to not seeing them at every single minor holiday and birthday.  and my parents are willing to drive the 90 minutes to come and see us.  living "far away" from them doesn't faze me.

but it's more than that for me.  to me, moving back to hershey is becoming rooted.  and i'm not ready to do that yet.  i like living a short train ride from center city philadelphia.  i love the cultural and foodie options available to us.  i love taking the train to work and getting a nice, brisk walk in every morning before i start my day.  i feel like moving back to hershey sort of means that we're stuck.  i mean, i know we're not - there's an airport 20 minutes away, and we're still a quick road trip away from tons of major cities - an hour from baltimore, 90 minutes from philly, 3 hours from d.c., 3 1/2 from pittsburgh, 3 hours from nyc.  but i don't feels like a defeat of some sort.

not to mention that i love my job here.  i mean, it's hard and frustrating and exhausting and all that other stuff.  and some days, i really can't believe that i chose this as my career.  but the people i work with make it all worth it.  these people are some of my closest friends.  i actually, genuinely like my fellow social workers.  i invited them to our wedding.  i hang out with them outside of work, by choice.  they make this job easier to bear.  and i fear i won't find that anywhere else.  in fact, i'm pretty certain i won't.  so at this point in my life, i'm not ready to walk away from that.

now that callie and anthony are moving back, i know there will be more pressure to move back to hershey.  from matt, from my parents, and definitely from his parents.  especially once they find out we're pregnant.  and i'm really not looking forward to that.  i like our little life here outside of philadelphia.  could it be better?  sure - we could have more normal neighbors.  but honestly, that's my only complaint about where we are.  i'm perfectly content with the fact that we don't live 15 minutes from our parents - then they can't just "drop by" whenever they feel like (and believe me - they would).  i like having a little distance between us.  would i love to be closer to my sister?  yes, definitely.  am i willing to sacrifice all the stuff i named above just for that?  nope.  it's an hour and a half.  they can drive.  the turnpike goes both ways! 

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